5 Alternative Films For Valentines Day

15886_1_valentines-day-in-london--an-alternative-guide-_banAuthor: Brad Shea

Boy meets girl romances have been done to death over the years and frankly, nobody cares anymore. We all know where these plots will take us over the course of 90 minutes, we know the journeys the characters will embark on, and, we know that at the end of this journey everything will be perfect. So, to save yourself from another year of boredom in front of a TV screen on Valentine’s Day watching Hugh Grant give his best impression of Prince Charming by stuttering, check out some of these alternative love stories instead.


Her is a beautiful little film written and directed by Spike Jonze. Starring Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlett Johansson, the films deals with the issue of how advancements in technology may effect our relationships with actual people. Theodore (Phoenix) falls for his new Operating System (voiced by Johansson) and the two fall deeply in love. The romance is more authentic and sincere than any seen in recent rom-coms and that is astounding as we only ever hear Samantha. She cannot be seen, she cannot be touched (the question of sex is dealt with in the film), but she can provide Theodore with everything that he has been missing. Expect tears from both parties at the end.

Interview with the Vampire

Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise have existed in most women’s erotic fantasies at some point during their lives (and if you don’t believe me, ask your mother) so imagine a film where the two portray a gay couple. No, really. Interview with the Vampire uses vampires sex appeal to turn two of Hollywood’s biggest stars into an item. Talk about a power couple. The two even ‘adopt’ a child to make up for the fact that they themselves cannot have children. Of course, none of this is said within the film itself but read between the lines and watch the characters interact and you will never view it the same way again.


If you’re tired of watching two people (or vampires, or a person and an Operating System) form a romantic relationship, here’s something different. Nymphomaniac is the story of sex addiction and one woman’s experience with it throughout her life. Her addiction leads her to encounter many different characters over the course of the film’s 4 hour runtime (split into 2 parts) and presents a different type of love, one which slowly tears her apart as she tries to satisfy her needs. If you’re going to watch a Lars von Trier film this Valentine’s Day, make sure it’s this one and not Anti-Christ.

Zack and Miri Make A Porno

Perhaps the most conventional romance in this list with an unconventional setting. This is not the story of two people falling in love but rather two people realising that they are already in love… while making a porn film. Seth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks onscreen chemistry is better than any that can be seen in redtube’s finest and provides the film with a great deal of laughs and heart if you look past the (often crude) sex scenes. Just make sure you’re not having your Valentine’s meal while one particular sex scene is shown.

The Silence of the Lambs

Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling are an interesting onscreen couple. The two share only a handful of scenes with each other yet the tension that exists between them is undeniable. This is an intimate relationship in which sees the characters touch each other only once and for only a fraction of a second. Instead, they connect on a much deeper level as Hannibal works his way inside of Clarice’s mind to understand who she is and what drives her. Upon his escape (the films been out for 24 years so don’t whine about spoilers), Hannibal even refrains from having Clarice for dinner choosing to take advice from the old saying ‘if you love something, let it go.’ If only we were all as romantic as the iconic cannibal.

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